i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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