Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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