The maid of honor just puked.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
