it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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