I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
