I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
my being single is dangerous.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Randomize
