I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
