At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Randomize
