Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
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