singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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