The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
