I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
