WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
