His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
our cab driver is having phone sex.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
