It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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