Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
