ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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