Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
I am puke
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize