how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
and you fell through a lawn chair
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
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