my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
