I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
