This girl is more easily done than said...
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
