in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
