i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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