Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize