I only kidnapped one of them. chill
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Boobs are out for the taking
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
