i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
