Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.