Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
23 Medical Examiners Reveal The Most Disturbing Causes Of Death They’ve Seen
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.