Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize