Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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