Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
