I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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