I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize
