You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
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