I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
