just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
