I heard we made out
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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