Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
