It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize
