your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize
