Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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