and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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