I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
