are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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