Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
