Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize