Grow some girl-balls and come out already
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
