never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Church boner. Awkwardddd
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
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