I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
