who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
