Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
