I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
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