ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
