you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize