I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Randomize
