Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
