oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
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Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize