I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
