p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Randomize
