Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
and she was petting her beer can
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
